True but thats because hes a fetus.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
