Fuck appropriateness.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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