This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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