I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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