mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize