dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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