were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
