P.S. I can't hear my feet
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize