Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
