It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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