Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize