Say something about gay babies.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
