What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
