She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
