so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
