i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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