Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.