i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.