Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker