I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
