All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.