Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

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  (413): I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets. http://tfl.nu/8b9j
  Replies (11) Good night (5346) Bad night (1224)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

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  (810): I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work... http://tfl.nu/jjaa
  Replies (30) Good night (6139) Bad night (996)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.

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  (813): Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive. http://tfl.nu/ya8a
  Replies (13) Good night (765) Bad night (3386)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.

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  (609): Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine. http://tfl.nu/cx6r
  Replies (17) Good night (7046) Bad night (623)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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  (615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c
  Replies (14) Good night (1000) Bad night (3090)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen

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  (919): i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen http://tfl.nu/az2y
  Replies (29) Good night (5348) Bad night (716)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

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  (732): no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in http://tfl.nu/h08n
  Replies (6) Good night (5638) Bad night (867)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.

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  (646): He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season. http://tfl.nu/dtjf
  Replies (11) Good night (3578) Bad night (1150)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text

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  (503): i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text http://tfl.nu/7lw4
  Replies (5) Good night (4845) Bad night (884)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

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  (206): I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?" http://tfl.nu/2uiv
  Replies (22) Good night (1066) Bad night (3678)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.

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  (918): See, not all bad decisions involve my penis. http://tfl.nu/lbts
  Replies (5) Good night (3027) Bad night (822)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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  (614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0
  Replies (13) Good night (3184) Bad night (1015)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.

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  (512): Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently. http://tfl.nu/nwru
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (629)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.

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  (416): I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses. http://tfl.nu/2j5j
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (262)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving

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  (413): i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/3k7r
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (269)

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