If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.