Where is the hickey?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."