so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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