Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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