He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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