So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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