if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
