He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
