I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
