So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
