ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize