I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize