WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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