is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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