i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
