i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
