I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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