Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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