I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
