I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
