woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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