Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
