I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize