everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
