I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
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Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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