So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
