I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
