last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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