Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
