take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize