What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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