Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize