The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
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The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
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So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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