There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if only i could text you this smell
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
