I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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