just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
