i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
