your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If i come over, it means nothing
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
