he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
