normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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