you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
