It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
