It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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