All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
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It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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