Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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